Creation holds God’s own signature to teach us how to nurture our children.
Ever nurtured a sapling ? It is beautiful to see it grow while you till the soil ,add manure, water , prune it, protect it from external harm –at the same time allowing it to be exposed to the environment- gentle breeze , sunlight - to make it stand stronger with deeper roots and greener leaves , finally revealing the bud which longs to bloom from within into what it was called to be , a beautiful flower bringing a smile on your face , preparing to face the life journey ahead. Let me pause for a moment ……
FREEDOM seems to be a controversial subject in every family , often also leading to parents banging their heads against each other. But it is an important part of parenting. I won’t talk about psychology or techniques in this article . Let me share with you about some attitudes
Healthy communication within the family:
Sharing of feelings verbally:
Even tiny tots have feelings. Ask them to share with you their feelings in words – when they are angry, sad, happy, hungry, satisfied , jealous , sorry , lonely , fearful etc. Being in touch with feelings will help them gradually understand the cause of these feelings . As they grow up train them to understand the good feeling when they make right choices until they learn to do the right thing not because it is a rule but because it feels good and not do the wrong thing because that feels bad. Help them to understand difference between temporary pleasure and lasting joy.
Sharing of thoughts, dreams, joyful or sorrowful events etc.
Develop in them a habit of narrating everything that happened from morning to night . They will learn not to hide anything from you . Instead of learning lessons by –heart, help them to understand their lessons in school . Children have much to teach us in these times of advanced media and communications. Be open to learn from them. Keep the computer in the living room or a place where family members keep moving around .This will balance freedom with monitoring what they do on the internet. Let them learn to value the trust you place in them. I am grateful to my parents who always trusted me to maintain my integrity . This has helped me stand for my values through every situation, peer pressures and storm in life.
Non-verbal interaction and physical presence in family
Children grow up in a healthy manner if both parents are around . They learn the greatest lessons from family life . How to share little tasks , take responsibilities, care , enjoy , overcome differences , forgive etc. Let them know what you think or feel – through your facial experessions. But NEVER use physical violence to teach them a lesson.
These are suggestions for the growth of children in all dimensions of their being . The role of parents is to show them in which direction to grow freely , allowing them to learn from their own experiences in daily living , while we assure them of our loving presence to encourage them , trusting that the best in them will bloom through this freedom.